Among the various types of questions bazi experts get asked all the time by homeowners, business people and students, a question that ranks up there with the most commonly asked is about their love life.
Some of the common questions on this topic include:
- When would I get married?
- Am I destined to be single for life?
- Is my current partner my husband/wife?
These are very basic questions that deserves a simple answer. Yet the complexity of bazi can often make it impossible for a non-bazi person to answer convincingly.
The biggest reason why there cannot be a template process that can answer this question definitively for everybody is that everyone has a unique bazi. The diverse variables at play make it impossible for a bazi analyst to provide an answer like “next year” that applies to everybody.
But if you are motivated to answer your own questions about relationships and marriage from your own bazi, then being guided by some basic concepts should be enough to shed some light onto your predicament.
At the same time, no guarantees can be given that you would be able to find the answers you are seeking after meticulously following this guide.
It could be that you have got something wrong, maybe the answer is already there but you’ve failed to see it, or maybe you are unable to comprehend the dynamics at work in bazi, etc.
But I have faith in you. 🙂 And if I assume that you would be able to digest everything that will be discussed here, then I’m just so happy to help you answer this life-changing question.
Further more, readers should note that this is a discussion about analysis and interpretation. I will not be making recommendations or providing solutions to the findings. This is simply because in 8 characters, it is not up to the bazi reader to decide what life aspects need to be managed. This responsibility lies on the one being read.
Let’s get going.
1) Plot your bazi
To answer questions about your love life with bazi, you would of course need to have your bazi birth chart.
This can be easily done by using the various 4 pillars (bazi) mobile apps and online bazi calculators available online.
However as a word of warning, there have been instances when I have used some of these calculators (from reputable sites) and found that they generate the wrong bazi after manually referencing the characters from the Hsia Calendar.
So if you really want to be safe and remove that 0.01% doubt that you might obtain a wrong bazi, which is a wrong representation of you, then the best move is to tabulate your birth chart manually as explained here.
2) Identify your self-element
Once you have obtained your bazi, the heavenly stem on the day pillar would be your self-element (day master) and the earthly branch on the same pillar would be your marriage palace (or spouse palace).
For bazi newbies, note that the upper row represents the heavenly stems, and the lower row represents the earthly branches.
If for example, you have the character of Ji Earth (H6) on the day stem, then your self element is yin earth (- earth).
In terms of spouse, the element that represent the husband or wife is different between men and women.
So if you are male with the self-element Earth, the element that represents your wife is water. For women with Earth as the self-element, the element that represents your husband is wood.
For easy reference, the below table indicates the elements that represents the spouse for the 5 different self-elements.
At this stage, we are still gathering the information required to make an analysis. So bear with these technicalities before we get to the good stuff.
Now that we have identified your day master and the element that represents your husband/wife, it’s time to determine the strength of your self-element.
3) Determine strength of self element
Even for a Chinese metaphysical concept like the bazi which has been practiced and honed for thousands of years, people still debate how the strength of a self-element should be determined.
If you are new to bazi, you might have wished that we could skip this step in analyzing your love life and marriage.
But unfortunately, this is a step that is essential for accurate readings.
This is because in order to identify an individual’s favorable elements (which are associated with the spouse and marriage), one must first determine whether the person’s self-element is strong or weak. After which, the concept of balanced bazi means that a strong day master would favor elements that weaken it, while a weak one would desire elements that strengthen it.
The different ways in which the strength of your self-element can be determined is elaborated here.
But if you are simply too lazy to go through the specifics, the simplest and most basic way to see if you have a strong self-element is to see if your bazi has a supportive element on the month branch.
For example, if you have a metal day master such as Geng Metal, then having metal on the month branch can serve as the basis of it being a strong self-element. This follows the cycle of birth and creation of the 5 elements.
For simplicity sake, the below table would show you the self elements and the elements on month branch that can make then strong.
When the month branch is in season, most experts would concur that it is a strong self-element. And when it’s in a supportive season, the odds of one being a strong element would be overwhelmingly high barring special bazi configurations.
It can generally be said that if a day master does not have any of the in season or supportive season elements on the month branch, then it can be termed as (but not always) a weak day master.
Here is a breakdown of the favorable and unfavorable elements for a strong or weak self-element.
|Self Element (SE)
|Wood||Fire, Earth, Metal||Wood, Water||Wood, Water||Fire, Earth, Metal|
|Fire||Earth, Metal, Water||Fire, Wood||Fire, Wood||Wood, Water|
|Earth||Metal, Water, Wood||Earth, Fire||Earth, Fire||Metal, Water, Wood|
|Metal||Water, Wood, Fire||Metal, Earth||Metal, Earth||Water, Wood, Fire|
|Water||Wood, Fire, Earth||Water, Metal||Water, Metal||Wood, Fire, Earth|
Once you have determined whether you have a weak or strong self-element, you would be able to identify your favorable and unfavorable elements by referring to the above table chart.
To recap the first 3 steps of looking into your love life with bazi, you have now learned to plot your bazi, identify your self-element and spouse element, and judge the strength of your self element. And with strength determined, favorable and unfavorable elements can be identified.
4) Putting it together
It’s time to look at an example bazi for a female.
Legend of the symbols can be found here.
In this chart, we see the individual (female) with the Jia day master born in autumn during the month of Shen. This makes her a weak day master. Her husband element, which is metal, is next to her self element which indicates that this person would probably have little problems meeting suitors and getting married. However, this husband can cause her more stress than pleasure as metal is an unfavorable element to her since she has a weak self-element. In addition, the marriage palace is Chen Earth which is another unfavorable element. This indicates that her marriage might not bring happiness.
So if this person is a client and asks if she would eventually get married, the answer would be yes. The opportunities are there, but whether to marry her suitors would be a personal decision that is up to her. And if she ask about the state of the marriage, the answer would be communicated politely as below average.
If this is a mouthful for you to digest, do take note that we are just talking about the basics of bazi here. And that there are only 4 of 8 characters used in the example. The Hour and Year branches are left empty so as not to confuse you.
We haven’t even got to the intermediate, advanced, or expert level of analysis. These are required when we desire to look into more in-depth details.
Let’s look at another example. This time for a male.
This is a male with Ding Fire as the self-element. It is weak as he’s born in the season of E11. This makes his favorable elements fire and wood. His wife element of metal is nowhere to be seen in this example. The implication is that meeting potential suitors could be a challenge. But it can be observed that should he get married, the supportive marriage palace, which the Mao branch takes position, means that he would enjoy a good marriage that supports him in his life pursuits. This is because as a weak fire self-element, wood (mao E4) helps to feed his strength which is desperately needed.
But the bigger question here might be that would he even get married? And if so when?
5) Looking into the details
For singles, a common question that bug them in social gatherings and family events is when they would get married.
And if you are asking the same question about yourself, then this might offer you a little insight about what your destiny has in store for you in terms of relationships.
Let’s use another example. This time of a female with Xin Metal as self-element.
This is a woman with metal self-element, born in the season of You making it strong, and no fire element (which represents husband) in sight. This is assuming the 4 empty characters don’t contain any fire elements as well. So does the missing fire mean that she would have to remain single and unmarried for the rest of her life?
Well… not exactly.
This is because there are hidden elements within all earthly branches which are located at the bottom row of the 4 pillars. The characters of Wei (E8) and You (E10) contains within them, the heavenly branches of H2, H4, H6, and H8 respectively. H4 is Ding Fire which is represented by the fire element. So we can use this as the basis for reading relationships for this individual.
So even though the husband element is seemingly not present in the bazi, it is hidden within the characters. This indicates that the potential husband might be someone who she already knows but he has keep his feelings to himself… preferring to admire her from afar.
When would he reveal himself?
This can occur when the fire element arrives via the lady’s luck pillars or the annual year luck pillars.
To be more specific, this person might find the most potential period for meeting her prospective husband when the character Bing Fire arrives.
This is because according the the concept of the 10 gods, a female with the day master of Xin Metal would have Bing Fire as her true spouse star. As Xin has a yin characteristic, fire element with the yang characteristic would be it’s ideal match to achieve yin-yang balance. This points to Bing Fire.
The true spouse star for each possible day master is shown in the below table.
|Jia Wood (H1)||Xin Metal (H8)||Ji Earth (H6)|
|Yi Wood (H2)||Geng Metal (H7)||Wu Earth (H5)|
|Bing Fire (H3)||Gui Water (H10)||Xin Metal (H8)|
|Ding Fire (H4)||Ren Water (H9)||Geng Metal (H7)|
|Wu Earth (H5)||Yi Wood (H2)||Gui Water (H10)|
|Ji Earth (H6)||Jia Wood (H1)||Ren Water (H9)|
|Geng Metal (H7)||Ding Fire (H4)||Yi Wood (H2)|
|Xin Metal (H8)||Bing Fire (H3)||Jia Wood (H1)|
|Ren Water (H9)||Ji Earth (H6)||Ding Fire (H4)|
|Gui Water (H10)||Wu Earth (H5)||Bing Fire (H3)|
In the absence of a true spouse star, it does not mean that an individual is destined to be single for life. It just means that we are unable to use the spouse star as a basis of reading into aspects of marriage. The spouse element as discussed earlier can be ably used as a substitute to read into a person’s romance and marriage.
On top of that, bazi enthusiasts who are sharp-eyed might have noticed that this person in the example has Xin as the day master and the peach blossom star of Rooster is present in the bazi. This indicates that this individual would naturally be attractive to the opposite gender.
So this 8 characters tells us that this person is not destined to be single. And if she is, it’s a matter of personal choices rather than fate.
And because the peach blossom star is the season of birth (month branch), it can be deduced that this person is someone who often makes instinctive decisions motivated by romance or the potential for romance.
To close this discussion, I need to repeat that while all the above information about interpreting bazi in terms of marriage and love life can seem like very complex stuff to many, I assure you that this is just very basic bazi analysis.
We haven’t even account for combinations, clashes, strength of individual characters, etc.
Yet sometimes, a bazi can be so simple to read that feng shui practitioners and bazi readers over-complicate things by insisting to look into the finer details. This is not always necessary. Many practitioners tend to do this just for the sake of impressing you with their knowledge.
As I often like to metaphorically say, if a person clearly looks obese and overweight, he or she is overweight. There is no need to look into his height and weight to prove that fact… unless one cannot trust his own basic judgment.
So for what it’s worth, the basic steps of looking into your love life by analyzing your bazi explained above might be good enough to answer the questions that has been bothering you.
While every bazi is different, the concepts used to read them remains the same.