Of all the date selection services that we have done, nothing comes close to matching the demand for marriage date selection… or what most people would call it wedding date selection.
Yet there is no denying the subtle but distinct differences between the two.
A wedding is a ceremony that is undertaken out of respect to culture and sometimes religion. A marriage is the legal unity of two parties into one.
For this reason, with the exception of religious weddings, the marriage date is the single most important day for these types of date selections.
This is because the marriage day, which is the day when the legal papers are signed, is the moment when legal commitments, responsibilities and obligations are accepted by the newlyweds.
It should therefore be the focal point in date selection for marriages.
Saying that, there is nothing wrong choosing a good date for the customary wedding rituals and banquet as well.
Choosing an auspicious date for this lifetime event helps to ensure that such a milestone occasion is not conducted on a day filled with negative cosmic energy that is harmful to either or both parties.
On a slightly negative note, I must add that the choice of a good marriage date will not prevent a divorce from happening. That is mostly attributed to bazi mismatches. But it can surely minimize the messy problems that that can come out of them.
In fact, it is even more important for couples with conflicting bazi to carefully select an auspicious wedding date for any hope of salvaging a marriage.
This is why in wedding date and marriage date selections, a consultant will undoubtedly request for the birthday and time of birth of both individuals.
This helps the consultant identify the sources of potential problems that would arise in a particular marriage, and draw up a selection of dates with energy variables that best neutralizes the challenges that the couple would eventually face.
However, such refinement should be left to a specialist.
For general marriage date selection, the first step to take is to identify the bad days.
Avoiding bad dates for weddings
In the practice of calculating date selection in Chinese metaphysics, the avoidance of bad dates is of a higher priority than choosing a good one.
It’s not that we cannot select a day that meets both criteria. But when push comes to shove, being unable to select the best day is better than having to choose a bad one. In this case, going with a neutral day is the way to go.
The year breaker and month breaker refers to the days with certain earthly branches that directly clashes with resident branches for the year and month.
For example, the year 2019 is a year of the Pig (hai). This means that any day with the snake zodiac branch (si) needs to be avoid. In the same line of thought, April of 2019 for example, is a month of the dragon (chen). This makes any date within 5th April and 5th May with the dog branch (xu) should be avoided as well.
Side-stepping away from these two breakers is just the beginning.
The next step is to identify the personal breakers of the would-be husband and wife. This refers to the zodiac years that the couple was born in.
For example if one is born in the year of the goat (wei), then days with the ox branch needs to be avoided.
If time selection is required, then put the same concept of clashed into practice by identifying the resident branches of the days you have shortlisted. Then avoid hours that clashes with the branch of the day.
For simplicity, below is a table indicating the 6 clashes among the 12 zodiacs (earthly branches).
Navigating away from inauspicious days is pretty straight forward when we apply the concept of the relationship between zodiac signs.
Yet this is just the beginning.
Because this is a marriage we are talking about, and marriage is about bliss and unity, we should look into the personal symbolic stars both individuals and avoid days that personally represent loneliness to both of them.
In particular, we should be looking into the solitary star (孤辰) and the lonesome star (寡宿). The latter especially, can bring great misfortune to a spouse.
We avoid these stars in a somewhat similar way we avoid the harmful zodiacs as we previously did.
We identify what earthly branches represent these stars according to the year zodiac of the two individuals, discover the stars, and avoid days where they are present.
To identify these two symbolic stars, follow the table below.
|Day or Year Branch
|Pig, Rat, Ox||Tiger||Dog|
|Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon||Snake||Ox|
|Snake, Horse, Goat||Monkey||Dragon|
|Monkey, Rooster, Dog||Pig||Goat|
In general practice, a feng shui master often identify these two stars by looking at the year branch of the couple’s bazi.
But for finesse, a meticulous practitioner would also take into account the two stars when the reference point is the day branch.
This means that each person might end up with as much as 4 earthly branches to avoid. And it sums up to as many as 8 when two people are concerned.
Picking the good dates for marriages
When we have carefully gone through the above exercise of date elimination, we should have drastically narrowed down the date options still available.
At least with their removal, you can now at least be sure that you are not getting married on a day opposed by cosmic energy.
To pick the best dates from the remaining acceotable ones, use the 12 day stars method of date selection.
You want to specifically look for days with the presence of Cheng (成), Ding (定) or Kai (开) as these are generally accepted as the most suitable and appropriate days for marriages.
After which, you might want to throw in the 28 constellations guidelines for added measure.
Finally, if there are various good dates which a couple is open to holding the wedding ceremony, use the tong shu to remove all remaining bad dates.
In more advanced date selection techniques, competent feng shui masters will attempt to line up the month, day, and hour branches of the marriage to form a harmonious combination.
For example, the 3 combinations (三合) or the seasonal combinations (三会) of the earthly branches. This ensures an auspicious unity of the energies.
This can only be favorable if the presence of the stars required for these combinations to take place does not cause any conflicts or clashes.
As you can see, marriage date selection can be complicated and not as simple as many people think.
My advice is that if you are not confident in doing it competently, then don’t attempt it at all.
It’s better to be oblivious than to find out later that you have doomed your marriage by choosing a bad date to marry.